Stop looking for the one – find the all

To celebrate International Women’s Day, I decided to write about most women’s mission in life – finding “the one”. Everyone always tells me “the one will come” or “someday you will meet the one”. When you go out, you make sure to look your best, because what if you meet the one. We spend half of our lives hoping to meet the one. Searching for the one. Frankly, I don’t want the one – and you’re not supposed either. You deserve more than just the one…

I’ve met and dated a few “the ones” and I’m still single. How is that possible? How could you date the one and let him go? – Simple, he may have been the one, all of them were, but none of them “the all”.

I had my first boyfriend when I was going on fourteen, quite a few years ago. I was certain he was the one. Looking back now, I think he still is, he is still the one I want to make out with in the hallway of my parents’ house. Like we did for many years to come.

Someone else I dated, I loved deeply and got hurt real bad, but I still think he is the one. The one I want to make tea with at his parents’ house and dream about growing old together. My best friend, is a guy and I think he is the one. The one I want to share a bottle of wine with and sit and talk about life with for hours, while eating pizza I know I’ll regret when my jeans don’t fit in the morning. Somebody I use to know, about three years ago was this amazing guy and one day he just stopped replying to my texts. Till this day, he is the one I want to call and tell about this blog and my new job, he is the one I want to tell about my new goals and distant dreams. Even my Mom, she is the one. No one cares for me like she does. My brother is the one, when it comes to singing in the car on a road trip. My Dad, the one I want to talk to about politics. There is a little “the one” in everyone we meet – friends, family, current boyfriends or even exes. So if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, do you want him to be “the one” like the rest? No. I certainly don’t.

You see, the quest isn’t to find the one, you’ll encounter many of those. The quest is to find the all. The guy you still want to make out with in the hallway of your parents’ house even after you’ve been married for ten years. The guy you will never want to stop making tea with and dreaming about growing old together. The guy with whom you can eat as much pizza as you like, because he won’t care if your jeans don’t fit in the morning and he’ll love you even more for it. The guy who cares like Mom, rocks out like Brother and talk politics as if he is the next Donald Trump. The guy who is the first person you want to call, to tell him you have a crazy idea of starting a blog or you got the promotion and he will support you all the way.

So, when the time is right “the all” will come. Remember that you are worth much more than spending the rest of your beautiful life with just “the one”.


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